I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
