So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
