You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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