Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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