what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
