so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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