Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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