Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
3pm strippers are depressing
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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