I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
