$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
