Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
