i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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