you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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