it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
