i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
