So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
