I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
