I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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