I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
