Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
