He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
