Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
