watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize