I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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