No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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