when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he told me I talked like a deaf person
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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