I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Congratulations! We have a period
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
