NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We are all done wearing pants today
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
