What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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