he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
