Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This house was built for laser tag.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize