Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
