Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
