you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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