we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
