talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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