3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize