so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
