So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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