Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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