i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
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I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
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