I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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