She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is Oprah even human
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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