Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
smell my finger.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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