summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
don't judge my taste in strippers
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
