I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
