I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
