seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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