The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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