Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize