I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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