Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
