You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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