his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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