I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
