Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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