David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
