yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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