if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
