i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
