I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
