i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
