It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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