Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
