dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
