no you cant smoke seaweed
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
where are you?
Hypothermia
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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