I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize